


It'll Never Be Over

by lovepollution



Category: The Split (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Arguing, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Drinking, F/M, Fix-It, Hostile, In Character, Late Night Conversations, Lawyers, London, Love, One Shot, Post-Season/Series 02, Pre-Season/Series 03, References to Canon, Self-Reflection, Sister-Sister Relationship, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovepollution/pseuds/lovepollution
Summary: “There is no ‘this’ for me to walk away from; we're finished, remember?”“You know as well as I do it’ll never be over between us.”Post-series 2.
Relationships: Hannah Stern/Christie Carmichael
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	It'll Never Be Over

It was a Friday morning, and one month after Christie left the firm, that Hannah dropped a pen and in turn found a rogue Post-It Note crinkled up and half hidden under her desk.

‘Missed you at lunch. Can’t wait until tonight. xx’

Her breath hitched in her throat before she had even unfurled the paper, so seeing his handwritten words was an extra punch to her chest. He must have, she realised, left it on one of the rare days they were able to steal some time together at his flat after work.

Those evenings they shared were nice. Christie would make dinner, with Hannah sometimes helping, they would share a bottle of wine while they ate, and retreat to the sofa afterwards to relax. Sometimes they went to bed together and sometimes they didn’t, but it wasn’t the most important thing; what they really savoured was that feeling of closeness, and of what “everyday” could be like for them. 

On one of those early evenings together, sitting in front of the fire, Christie had once even whispered into her ear, “I wish this was everyday.” She hadn’t responded, and she suspected he didn’t think she’d heard him, but in fact she felt so overwhelmed by the admission that it was easier for her that way than it was to confront it. She still thought about those words, more often than she’d like to.

Her phone rang, making her jump.

“You need to take over for me with the Carlile meeting this morning,” Nina told her sister. “I’ll be late, I’ve got the worst morning sickness.”

“I...” Hannah though for a moment, but decided it would be too cruel to accuse her sister of shirking during pregnancy. “Fine, but you owe me.”

“I’ll be in after lunch and the papers you’ll need are on my desk. Got to go!” Nina said, hurriedly pressing ‘end’ on the call.

Hannah gathered what she needed from Nina’s office, frowning as she made her way to the boardroom. Once she was seated, she quickly sifted through the papers to try and grasp what she needed to know.

“Anna!” Hannah called out to Maggie’s replacement.

“Yep?” the blonde 20-something replied, as she came into the room.

“I’m sitting in for Nina and I don’t seem to have a copy of the final part of the Carlile prenup,” Hannah said, as she continued to look through the papers in front of her. “If you could get me...” she searched for the page and held it to Anna who came to collect it, “copies of the pages after this one.”

It was only once Hannah noticed she’d been holding the paper out for a few seconds without anyone taking it that she realised Anna was distracted by something else.

“Yeah, I’ll just erm...” Anna finally answered, stumbling over the words as she took the document from Hannah’s hand. “I’ll get those for you.”

Hannah looked up to see what had been the cause of Anna’s distraction. Christie was standing in the doorway, and clearly gossip of their relationship had reached even new members of staff. He was, as expected, dressed immaculately in a navy suit and his eyes were fixed, unblinking, on Hannah. She shifted in her seat and took a deep breath, using every bit of strength to avoid looking in his direction.

“So...” she began, once all parties were seated, her best mask of professionalism firmly in place. “We’re here today to discuss the terms of the prenuptial agreement as they apply to your separation,” she said, giving a nod to Christie and his client on the other side of the table.

“The thing is,” Christie added prickly, “we don’t think they apply at all. The way your client ended the marriage null and voids it.”

Hannah sighed, holding the pen she’d been writing with in mid air. “We both know it’s not that simple.”

“Really? Because it seems pretty simple to me: she had an abortion, without even telling him, of what may or may _not_ have been his child-“

“Embryo,” Hannah interrupted.

“What?” Christie snapped back.

“It wasn’t a child. It wasn’t a baby, it...it wasn’t even a fetus.” She laughed bitterly. “She was less than two months pregnant. It was an embryo.”

“Fine,” Christie said, throwing a look of annoyance Hannah’s way. “She aborted the _embryo_ that may or may not have _become_ his child, of which she couldn’t be sure because she had slept with another man.”

“It’s not…” Hannah brought a hand up to gesture, but the accompanying words got lost along the way and she let out a frustrated sigh. “Can I...can we talk, outside for a minute?” she beckoned Christie with a pleading expression before she headed to the door.

“One minute,” he told his client, huffing as he walked to exit the boardroom. “What?” he demanded bluntly of Hannah once they were standing out of their clients’ earshot.

“Really?” she said incredulously, doing her best to keep her voice down. “You’re really asking me ‘what’ right now? We have to be...professional. I don’t like it either. I can assure you, I had no idea you would be here or I wouldn't have agreed to do this for Nina.” She paused, gathering her thoughts, squeezing her eyes closed. “You don’t need to be so...”

“Angry? Hurt?” he hurled back at her, prompting her to look squarely into his eyes. “Maybe I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t...used me to fulfil some...midlife crisis until it got too complicated for you.”

She shook her head. “You know it wasn’t like that,” she said, frustrated. “It...it meant...something to me,” she added in a softer and more sentimental tone. “It...means something to me.” Christie softened for a moment, but he caught himself quickly and Hannah saw his armor snap back into place. “Look, we need to be able to work together on this.”

He sighed. “Yeah, well,” he let out a petulant laugh, “I don’t think I can. Not anymore.”

“Just...just for this meeting, can we be civil?” She brought her left hand up and rubbed at her temple, and Christie’s eyes lingered on her hand when he saw she was no longer wearing her rings. “Then...then…” she stuttered, noticing where his eyes were focused. “Then you’ll be back working with Nina, OK?”

“Fine,” he conceded, turning sharply and walking back into the boardroom.

The remainder of the meeting was easier than its beginning: Christie seemed to have got most of the bitterness out of his system, so they were actually able to come to an amicable agreement in regards to the prenup that both clients were at least accepting of. Once everyone else had filtered out of the room, Hannah and Christie found themselves alone.

Christie cleared his throat and stood up. “I’ll erm...get the rest of those documents over to you before the end of the day.”

“Right, thanks,” Hannah nodded, standing from her seat and walking towards the door.

Miscalculating each other's steps, they crossed paths in the doorway and brushed against each other. They both froze for a second, paralysed by the sensation of being so close again. It was Christie who broke the moment, stepping back. No words were exchanged, just a loaded stare between them, which was abruptly broken by the presence of Anna.

“Hannah, I’ve got the-“ she said, stopping herself when she realised Christie was still there.

“Thank you, Anna,” Hannah told her, taking a folder from her hand. Slightly flustered, she gave a cordial nod towards Christie before quickly scurrying off to the safety of her office, shutting the door firmly behind her.

As soon as she saw Nina walk in later in the day, Hannah was hot on her heels into her office.

“You did that on purpose,” Hannah immediately accused her sister.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nina said, carrying on with hanging up her coat and not even looking at Hannah.

“You...you _knew_ Christie would be at that meeting.”

“I might have had an idea…” Nina said, as she took her seat behind her desk.

“Why…” Hannah was exasperated, “What did you expect to achieve?”

“It’s about time the two of you talked.” Nina frowned. “I’m sick of seeing you...moping around.”

“I am not ‘moping’ around,” Hannah replied indignantly.

“Ever since Nathan left, you’ve been so…” Nina tried to think of the right word but failed, “blah.”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “Very eloquent, Nina.”

“I miss seeing you smile,” Nina looked pleadingly at her sister, “and Christie does that, or at least he used to.”

“Yeah, well,” Hannah laughed resentfully, “we didn’t exactly get on like old times.”

Nina was unfazed. “At least you’re talking again.”

“And you became the relationship expert when?” Hannah asked, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“I’ve had enough terrible ones to know who is right and wrong for each other,” Nina reasoned. “And Nathan, was wrong for you.”

“And Christie is right?” Hannah asked - mostly rhetorically - and Nina shrugged agreeably in response. “You never liked Nathan.”

“True, but you don’t think the fact he cheated on you proves me, right?” Nina said, brow firmly raised.

“I cheated on him too,” Hannah said, feeling the usual sting of guilt thoughts of her actions gave her.

“It’s not the same and you know it,” Nina disregarded Hannah’s argument. “You were...in love. But Nathan was acting out because he resented you having a career. He was willing to throw everything away for a...cheap fuck.”

Hannah rifled through her brain for more ammunition, not quite ready to let Nina talk her round. “What about...what about the fact Christie came to you for sex that time?”

“Please,” Nina said dismissively, “he was lonely and drunk and stupid. Anyone with eyes can see he’s only ever wanted you.”

“I just...” Hannah couldn’t come up with a good argument. “This isn’t over.”

“Hmm, sure,” Nina smirked at her sister’s comment as Hannah turned to walk out of Nina’s office.

Hannah stopped and turned back, pointing her finger. She opened and closed her mouth, still out of dialogue, before finally turning on her heels and leaving.

The rest of the afternoon dragged, and Hannah couldn’t keep her mind on work. She had shoved the Post-It Note she’d found earlier in her pocket, and in a moment of contemplation, she took it out and placed it on her desk, carefully smoothing the creases. She read, and then re-read, the words Christie had scribbled down not much over a month before. It seemed like years ago.

Finally, in an uncharacteristically sentimental move, she tucked the yellow square of paper down into the bottom of her bag. It was, she realised, one of the few reminders she had left of her relationship with Christie. And she wasn’t ready to throw that away.

* * *

It was late Friday afternoon, and Hannah was filling up her umpteenth cup of coffee to get her through the rest of the day when Nina breezed by the coffee machine.

“Do you want to split a cab on the way home tonight?” Nina asked Hannah, who stared at her sister blankly. “Don’t tell me you forget... It’s Xander’s party.”

“Shit,” Hannah cursed. She had been informed he was doing something for his birthday a good month earlier, but with everything she had going on, it was the last thing on her mind. “Will it look bad if I make an excuse?”

“You know it will,” Nina said. “You’ll have to come, like it or not.” She chuckled. “Listen to me, lecturing you on doing the sensible thing to do!”

“Hmm,” Hannah frowned, ignoring her sister’s joke. “Yeah, we can split a cab,” she sighed. “I don’t know how long I’ll be staying though.”

“Don’t worry,” Nina reassured her, “I’m not going to be partying like it’s 1999, not these days...” she motioned to her growingly prominent abdomen. “Plus, I don’t know how much of a work party I’ll be able to stand without alcohol.”

Hannah - who had to draft Rose in at the last minute to look after Tillie and Vinnie since Liv refused to change her plans with her friends - arrived at the party half an hour after Nina.

“Hey,” Hannah said to her sister, who was nursing a non-alcoholic drink while she stood aimlessly at the bar..

“Hey,” she replied.

“Did I miss anything?”

“No speeches or anything like that, however…” Hannah looked with curiosity, knowing something was coming. “Christie’s here,” Nina continued, eyebrow raised and orange juice in hand, before pointedly adding with a tilt of her head, “And he’s brought a _date_.”

Hannah looked where Nina had indicated, and sure enough, there was Christie chatting to Xander, with a tall attractive blonde who couldn’t have been a day over 25 on his arm.

“Looks like...babysitting would be more appropriate than dating,” Hannah said, using sarcasm to kill the sting of jealousy.

Nina snorted. “Heads up,” she warned Hannah with a shoulder nudge, “they’re coming over.”

“Hannah,” Christie nodded in her direction, standing in front of her with his arm resting loosely on the waist of his date.

“Christie,” Hannah replied curtly. “And this is…?”

“This is Jennifer,” he introduced the blonde.

“Hi,” Jennifer said, smiling to show a set of perfectly straight bright white teeth.

“Have you known Christie long?” Hannah ventured.

“We met...what, two weeks ago?” She looked to Christie for confirmation and he nodded. “But yeah, we’ve had fun.” Hannah looked at Christie, fighting back the queasiness Jennifer’s words made her feel.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Hannah said, “I’m just going to refresh my drink. It was nice to meet you.” She smiled as sincerely as she could at the blonde before she slipped through the crowd and went to the bar.

“I’ll pay for that,” came a voice from behind her as the bartender passed her a fresh gin and tonic. It was, of course, Christie.

“I can pay for my own drink,” she said unimpressed, quickly handing a £10 note across the bar before Christie had the chance. “Keep the change,” she told the bartender as she turned to walk away. .

“You’re jealous,” he accused Hannah, doing his best to keep up with her as she snaked through the crowd of people. “I saw it in your eyes.”

Hannah stopped abruptly and turned sharply to face him. “Go back to your girlfriend, Christie.” Turning on her heel, she pushed through the mass of people, losing him along the way.

In sore need of some air, she retreated to the roof terrace. There she settled into a comfortable position against the railings, looking down over the city.

As she stood, she replied the last words Christie had said to her: “You’re jealous.” What stung the most was, he was right. She was jealous. Seeing him touching someone else, laughing with someone else, was like a stab to her heart.

It helped put her relationship with Nathan in perspective too. When she’d found out he’d slept with another woman she had felt angry, hurt, and even betrayed but it only just dawned on her that she had never felt jealous, not like this.

When Nathan left her, she had fallen apart for a bit, unable to see how she could continue living her life without the person who had been by her side for those years. But then the days turned to weeks, and she realised he wasn’t “everything” and that she really didn’t need him in the way she thought she had.

“I wondered where you went,” Christie said, making Hannah jump slightly. He walked towards her slowly and closed the gap between them, leaning on the railing next to her. “I’m sorry about before, I was...out of line.”

Hannah nodded steadily, lips pursed, and decided to let the confrontation go; he had been right after all. “Your...date not with you?” she asked, briefly looking in his direction.

“We had a bit of a...falling out,” he grimaced. 

“What, was she grumpy because she was up past her bedtime?” Hannah deadpanned.

"Ouch," Christie said with exaggeration, clutching his chest in a dramatic fashion. “But yeah, I guess I deserved that.” He scratched the nape of his neck. “I should have known it was never going to work when she didn’t know any of the words to ‘Wonderwall’,” he visibly cringed thinking of what he was about to admit, “but then she reminded me it came out the year she was born.”

“Wow,” she said, giving a genuine laugh. “That is...wow.”

The noise of the city below filled the space between them until Christie decided it was his time to act.

“Hannah...” he said, reaching out to brush her hair. She stiffened and closed her eyes.

“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head but still refusing to turn and look at him. “I don’t have the strength for...this anymore.”

“I’ve missed you,” he told her. “I...miss you.”

“You’ve...you’ve been drinking,” she fumbled, making small glances in his direction while her neck remained stiff, feeling rattled by both his words and presence.

“Not enough to make me forget you,” he replied lightning fast. Hannah softened momentarily, and the feelings she tried to hard bury came flooding back as she looked at his face.

“Christie...” He brushed her hair from her cheek. “I-” she began as she finally turned to face him, but was interrupted by revellers who came clambering through the door onto the roof terrace, making her jump from Christie’s touch. “I, I have to go,” she said hurriedly, pushing past the rowdy group of people and barging briskly through the party to get her coat.

“Can we go now?” she interrupted Nina, who was in a corner conversing with Tyler in muted tones.

“Erm, yeah,” Nina replied, sensing Hannah wanted to make a quick exit. “I’ll see you on...Monday,” she nodded to Tyler, who nodded in return.

The sisters made their way quickly out of the party, and flagged down a passing black cab that had its light on.

“What happened?” Nina asked Hannah.

“What? Nothing,” Hannah brushed her sister off, not in the mood to discuss complex emotions. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Nina nodded, unconvinced, but decided to leave any further questions for another day.

Hannah had been home for half an hour and was just sliding in bed when her phone rang. It was Christie.

“Come to the front door,” he requested.

“Why...what, are you there?” Hannah was shocked.

“Please, I just want to talk to you,” he pleaded.

She debated for a moment before finally capitulating to his demands. Slipping a hooded sweatshirt over her pyjamas and the nearest pair of trainers on her feet, she went to open the front door.

“You can’t just...turn up at my house. I have my…” she stopped herself, realising her voice was getting increasingly loud. “My _kids_ are sleeping upstairs,” she told him in an angry but decidedly more hushed tone.

“I just want to talk,” he said, looking mildly defeated.

“I…” she started, until it dawned on her he was still standing on the doorstep. “Come in,” she ushered him through the doorway and into the house. Deciding it would be easier for them to talk without waking the kids outside, she led him through the living room and kitchen and outside through the French doors.

“I’m not going to just let you walk away from me,” Christie said, the moment Hannah closed the doors behind them. He gestured wildly towards space between them as they stood facing each other, “from this.”

Hannah shook her head forcibly. “There is no ‘this’ for me to walk away from; we're finished, remember?”

“You know as well as I do it’ll never be over between us.”

The words hit like a slap in the face. Hannah said nothing, but her open mouthed expression was a silent acknowledgment of the truth of his statement.

“Tell me you don’t think about me and I’ll leave,” he offered an ultimatum. “Tell me you don’t still think about us, together.”

“I…” Hannah tried to get the words out to send him away, but she couldn’t lie.

“I just want us to have a chance. Just a chance.” He looked worn down and defeated. “Why won’t you at least try?”

Hannah was still. “What if I do want to try?” She shook her head.”It...it’s crazy, it wouldn’t work.”

Christie shook his head in disagreement. “Why not? Why is this any more crazy than any relationship?”

Hannah chuckled dryly. “Well, I’m still married for one...”

“You’re separated,” he reasoned. “And...” he paused considering if he should reveal the next part. “Nathan came to see Melanie Aickman yesterday. They’re finalising the petition for the decree nisi.”

Hannah swallowed and nodded slowly while she let the news sink in. Bracing herself, she decided now would be a good time to tell Christie her latest self revelation. “When I said Nathan was everything...”

She looked at his face to see if he recalled the conversation they’d had. His solidly stoic expression told her he did.

“I thought that was true, at the time. But then...he left and I realised that I didn’t need him to survive like I thought I did. That I...I didn’t need anyone to be everything. I don’t think anyone should be...everything.”

Hope shone in Christie’s eyes, but swallowed and steadied himself to speak his next words. “I know this is hard for you, having your family torn apart. I know you don’t want to be like your father, but…”

“But what?”

“Maybe he wasn’t the villain you think.” Hannah opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off before she got the words out. “He cheated, but he stayed with her for the rest of his life. Isn’t it possible it was for the best? What good would it have been for him to be miserable and resentful if he’d stayed married to Ruth?”

Hannah shook her head no, but he could see in her eyes she was wavering. “But he abandoned us…”

“That wasn’t right,” Christie concurred, shaking his head, “but he tried to keep in contact… I’m just saying, sometimes you need to think of your happiness before everyone else can be happy.” He reached out and grasped her hand in his. “I love you, Hannah, and I think you love me too.”

Hannah nodded, tears welling in her eyes.

“This might not be easy, but if you love me as much as I’ve loved you for the past 25 years, I think we owe it to ourselves to at least try.” Christie continued to hold her hand in his own. “And maybe love is a bit crazy in itself, but would us...trying be so insane?”

She visibly crumbled, unable to bear the heavy load of lies and facades any longer. “No, it wouldn’t. But it’s not that simple.”

“It could be, if you’ll just give it...give us a chance.” He looked intently into her eyes, searching for an answer, so Hannah gave him the only one that felt right.

Closing her eyes, she leant forward and kissed him firmly. He kissed her back - still tasting of the whiskey he’d been drinking earlier - but it wasn’t frantic and desperate like she might’ve expected; it was soft, tender and utterly loving. When they separated, Christie cupped her cheek in his hand and looked at her, beaming.

“I do...love you,” Hannah swallowed thickly, as she got the words out. “I want to be with you, but I’m...I’m terrified. I’ve always had you, us, as this...hope of what might’ve been, but if we...if we do this, properly, and it destructs...” Hannah was crying now, and Christie swept his thumb over her cheek to catch the moisture.

“I say destruction is better than never really knowing.”

She nodded. “I think you might be right.” Her smile broke through.

“I love you,” Christie beamed, so relieved to be able to say it aloud without fear.

“I love you,” Hannah echoed, equally joyous to have her feeling out in the open, something her wide smile was testament to. “You should go,” she caught herself before she was carried away, “the kids…”

He nodded, and lent in for a lingering tender kiss. “Come and see me tomorrow?” he asked hopefully.

“Mmmhmm,” Hannah affirmed. “Nathan has the kids, so...I can stay, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, that is more than alright,” he smiled broadly, and gave her another quick kiss.

The hope that was in her heart that night when she went to bed was palpable, and it only became more pronounced when she read the text her phone had lit up with.

‘Goodnight. Love you. xxx’

It wouldn’t be easy for them, Hannah knew: the kids - especially Liv - would likely be difficult, and Nathan would be angrier than before, but maybe now it was time she put her own happiness first; at least when it came to not letting the love of her life walk away.

She smiled as she tapped out a text.

“Me too. Until tomorrow. xx’

For the first time in a long-time, she felt excited for the next day; without any guilt or fear attached to it. She was able to finally love him out loud the way she’d always had to in secret.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a multi-chaptered thing, but when I was writing I came to what felt like a natural end for this as a one-shot (which is around the 4,000 word mark like all my one-shots unintentionally seem to be). I should say I have a strong idea of a follow up (some of the scenes of which I've already written), so expect that at some point.
> 
> EDIT: Check out the follow up [Moving Forward](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25752112).


End file.
